Can't Win Sometimes

Mom is upset with me again. This afternoon one of the retirees from Liholiho School called to ask if Mom was going to the luncheon next month since the deadline to sign up is tomorrow. Mom told her she would need to talk to me to find out if I could give her a ride, then handed the phone to me without telling me what it was about. I told Faye (the retiree) the situation and said Mom was available but I wanted to talk it over with Curt. He & I agreed that since she wants to go it would be good for Mom to see her work friends again; and since I needed to drive her, I could also make sure she was wearing her mask and ask people not to hug her.

But then when I went to help Mom write the check for the luncheon she said she needed to find out if her other friend Jocelyn was going. I told her Jocelyn was going to be calling me about mahjong on Tuesday and she told me to ask Jocelyn, saying if Jocelyn was going then she would go. I decided to speed up the process so I called Jocelyn, she wasn't home so I left a message. When Jocelyn called back in the evening I told her what had transpired, she was going and thought it was great that I would be able to take Mom.

When I told Mom she got really upset with me, saying that I went behind her back and I should have let her talk to Jocelyn. But when I offered to call Jocelyn back, Mom would have none of that either. She was also upset that I was going to take her to the luncheon (even though she had just signed the check to pay for both of us). I reminded Mom that she told Faye she could only go if I could take her and that she told me to ask Jocelyn if she was going and to tell Jocelyn if she went, Mom would go. She said I shouldn't talk back to her. Dad did not help matters by laughing at Mom for forgetting what she asked me to do for her earlier. I think he laughs because now there is someone else having to deal with Mom getting upset when people do what she asked them to do for her but she has forgotten so she thinks people are making decisions about her without consulting her. Not sure what the solution is to this.

Forgot to mention that when Fumi-san left yesterday Mom tried to give her some money for helping while she was here. Fumi-san gave it back to her, then refused to touch the envelope. So Mom gave it to Fumi-san's cousin Laraine who was giving her a ride to the airport. While Mom's back was turned giving Fumi-san a last good-bye hug, Laraine gave the envelope back to me as silently directed by Fumi-san as she gave Mom the hug! I put the money back in the grocery fund; now everyone is happy! And I can honestly answer Mom's question about whether she gave Fumi-san money when she went home by saying, "You gave the envelope to her cousin."

Mom did very well on her walk this morning. She actually walked about 1&1/2 blocks before she decided she needed to turn around and head back home. On the way we passed the wall of night-blooming cereus; the blossoms were still open since it was a little overcast and still very cool. We also stopped in to visit with Mrs. Vea on the way back.

Panini o kapunahou (Hylocereus undatus)

Happy Birthday to Tom, Bruce, Stephen, and Shelly!