Ridiculous Movies: Under Paris

I was tired when I got back from Lapakahi today. I had stopped at Aloha Burger for a keiki burger & also got a keiki size ice cream from Our Founding Farmers for lunch. When I got home I spent some time on my laptop replying to a bunch of emails from today that needed responses; that doesn't usually happen. It was like being back at work again! Auē! I nodded off towards the end I was so tired. I think part of it was being in the heat at Lapakahi; it really drains my energy.

At any rate, for whatever reason, I decided to watch a ridiculous movie after my impromptu nap. And Under Paris popped up as a number one pick on Netflix. The blurb said, "Hitting the Top 10 in 93 countries in its first week, this horror about a shark in the Seine is 'worthy of swimming in the wake of 'Jaws'" raves Variety." I assumed it would be about some very intelligent Great White like many of the other shark villain movies since Jaws so I was surprised to see a Mako when the shark finally appeared on screen; I thought it was just inaccurate shark footage until later in the movie when the protagonist identified it as a Mako. My bad for assuming it was going to be a Great White. 

Besides the shark developing very sophisticated organs in one generation, as well as extreme growth, parthenogenetic reproduction, & changing its reproductive strategy, it is also very intelligent & revenge-oriented. In the finale, as the military is trying to shoot the shark as it races down the Seine towards the ocean, they inadvertently hit some old World War II ordnance that is in the river, it explodes, setting off a chain reaction of explosions down the Seine, & a large wave comes racing upstream. Earlier in the movie they had alluded to locks on the Seine at the mouth, so I think they were implying the explosions blew the locks so now the sea is rushing in to Paris! At least the end of the movie shows Paris flooded so I assume that is what they were trying to convey.

The shark's "nest".

The sharks surrounding the protagonists in flooded Paris.

The Eiffel Tower standing in the flood.

One problem though; rivers flow down gradient. So locks at the mouth of a river would be to retain water in the river not prevent the ocean from rushing in. If the locks really had blown out, in the final scene the protagonists would have been high & dry & the multitude of sharks circling them would have been flopping around on a damp river bed. 

I did some fact checking later. Here is what I discovered. There are a series of 4 locks on the Seine before it reaches Paris which is about 277 miles from the mouth & about 79 feet above sea level. So, yeah, sharks definitely would have been flopping around on a damp riverbed. The movie did get it right that there are a lot of bridges in Paris crossing the Seine, 37 according to Wikipedia. 

As for the shark itself, Makos are pelagic sharks that do not live in freshwater or make 'nests' as suggested in the movie. They also do not reproduce parthenogenetically. What can I say, Hollywood biology & ocean science! My bad for watching a ridiculous movie & expecting it to adhere to reality.

Hauʻoli lā Hānau e Keith & Sumit! A me ka Hauʻoli lā Hoʻomanaʻo Makahiki ʻumi e Kai & Percy!