Slow Day Today

Every morning I start by opening the sliding glass door so the cats can access the cat run. Every morning there is a line waiting for me to open the door. They all like to go out and check on things while the sun is not so hot and things are quiet.

Xander, the first one in line.

The queue begins to form; L to R, Shiro, Xander. The green x's on the door signal them that the door is closed.

Everyone out! L to R: Chibi, Xander, & Shiro.

Since we got the corrected Death Certificates we have gotten a lot done. Last Friday, before the corrected certificates arrived, I only had 19 of the 45 items on my list done (42%). Today I worked on updating the list after our 2 very full days of meetings. Now 33 items are completed (73%)!

One of the fun things I did today was plant the mountain apple seeds. I saved 3 of the seeds from the fruits I brought back from the Big Island. Two of them had already started to split open, one of them is nice and green already! If I can get at least 1 to survive I think I will plant it in the front yard in the planting bed in the southwest corner.


Dad got up for all 3 meals today; in fact, he was up early for lunch. He said he needed to go out more. I guess he must have liked our little outing yesterday! We also talked about going to the Big Island for Mom's service (maybe) and going to Kauai where he was born and spent the first 12 years of his life (yes). If we go to Kauai it will be some time in August, Curtis said he will go with us; after all he is retired now so he has less to do.

I started walking again this morning. Mom and I used to walk most mornings before she was diagnosed with leukemia. When we first started 3 or 4 years ago, when I was here on my FMLA visits, we would walk with Miss Tanaka, my kindergarten teacher. But she passed away almost exactly 2 years ago (on June 14th). When I walked with Mom (and Miss Tanaka) we did the route in about 30 minutes; this morning it took me 17 minutes. For now I will keep it at 17 minutes, my calves were feeling tight since I had not done a lot of walking for quite a while. Once my body gets used to it again I will make the walking route longer.

Happy Birthday to Winifred & Pete! Happy 4th Anniversary to Brenda & Melanie! 

Another Busy Day

Today I took Dad to sign a bunch of papers. We had to get the Territorial Savings joint trust account changed from a passbook account to a statement account. Mom's dementia made her paranoid so she hid the passbook and I haven't been able to find it anywhere. Jennifer, the manager at Territiorial, was very helpful. The cool thing is that Mom first met Jennifer at Liholiho Elementary School ... when Jennifer was a student!

Then we went to Hawaii State Federal Credit Union. Patrick helped us close both of Mom's accounts and put the money in to Dad's trust account that he has there. Patrick also ordered an ATM card for Dad's account; Mom had one that she had me use when she wanted cash, so I did the same for Dad just in case. Patrick is also the one who helped me get the loan for the Subaru.

I had forgotten that American Savings Bank was right next door to Hawaii State; Patrick helped us negotiate the doors to get there. We had to stop in because they wouldn't talk to me over the phone about Dad's account. It was a good thing we stopped by; Dad's account was not in his trust and Mom was listed as his beneficiary. Diego helped us do the paperwork, the beneficiary for the account is now Dad's trust. Dad got to use the electronic signature for the first time; his signature actually looked pretty good.

Happy Anniversary to me! I moved here one year ago today. At that time I thought I was just going to be helping Mom & Dad keep the household running. Two weeks after I got here Mom was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and given 6 months. The next nearly 9 months were filled with almost weekly lab tests, transfusions every 2 to 4 weeks, monthly doctor's appointments, numerous trips to the emergency room, and 2 trips to Las Vegas! Now its just me and Dad and 3 cats; today is also the anniversary of the day we believe Momo went missing. There are less medical appointments but my days are now filled with financial stuff to be taken care of for the next few months. The garden is growing and beginning to produce; there are a lot of landscaping projects to be finished. And we will be doing more improvements in the house to make it easier for Dad to get around.

Those runners, I can't believe them! They are so sneaky!

I removed a couple runners from this plant 2 days ago.

This one eluded me 2 days ago by going over to the neighbor's house!

What good is a strawberry garden that only gives you a couple of berries? They can be used as an accent! (Hmmm, been watching too much Master Chef...) Here's this morning's breakfast fruit bowl. Besides the strawberry there is mango and orange from trees in the yard here and bananas from the Kohala house; only the papaya was bought. And in a few months we'll have papayas from our own plants!


Yesterday was the 1 month planting anniversary for the pakalana. The main vine is almost long enough to reach the chain link fence. The secondary vines still have a way to go but they are all very healthy.


Happy Birthday to Sherry & Christina!

Big Brother?

This morning as I was hanging laundry I felt like I was being watched. It turns out I WAS being watched. But it wasn't Big Brother, it was this guy.

Brown anole, Anolis sangrei

I went to Anita & Gordon's house last night for a Good Friday dinner with their family, Curtis & Lori & their family, and Debbie & Clyde (their daughter is in WA at Seattle University). Anita and Debbie are Curtis & Lori's neighbors; usually Curtis & Lori host the events, but last night Anita wanted to host because she wanted to decorate her house; she did a spectacular job. Same with the Easter egg hunt which took place in Debbie's back yard since they have a lot of landscaping unlike the others who only have lawn. Unfortunately my phone was being tempermental and I was unable to take any photos.

On Friday Curtis & I went out to lunch at Big City Diner with cousin Baron who will be doing the eulogy for Mom. We had a great time sharing stories about Mom. We also told him how it seemed her time since she was diagnosed with the leukemia actually was of a higher quality than it might have been if she had not had the diagnosis so early. Because she was predicted to have 6 months she was able to put her financial affairs in order and go to Las Vegas. Twice. It also allowed people time to visit with her when she was still in good health; especially since she actually outlived the prediction by about 3 months. I also showed them the new program on purple paper plus what I have completed of the PowerPoint version of the slide show. Baron and I had the Loco Moco with Kim Chee Fried Rice, Curtis had the Hamburger Steak. My camera started being tempermental on Friday so I didn't get a photo of lunch.

I didn't post on Friday due to lunch and cooking for the dinner at Anita's. I took a salmon fillet, whole wheat fluffy dinner rolls, and hot crab dip. The crab dip was from the mix sent to me in the goodie box from my friends from work. It was excellent! The crab dip is from the Canadian company Gourmet du Village so it has directions in both English & French. Although I don't know French, it seems that the French directions are different than the English directions. For example, one of the ingredients it calls for in French is "90 ml (1/3 tasse) de fromage Asiago ou Parmesan rape". In English it calls for "1 1/2 pkg (250 g/8 oz) of softened cream cheese"; I'm pretty sure the French directions are telling you to use either Asiago or Parmesan cheese instead of cream cheese. Perhaps French speakers and English speakers have different preferences for their crab dip.


During the last 3 or 4 months, every time we went somewhere Mom would tell me I needed to go to the bank and get money for her since she didn't have any. I would tell her she should have at least $200 in her purse, but she would say she had only a couple of dollars and show me a few $1 and $5 bills. Since I had already given her $200, and I knew she hadn't spent any since I am always with her when she goes out and pay for everything from the house money or by credit card, I would tell her I would give her money when I got more house money. But she would forget before that happened. Today I was looking through her purse for the pass book for one of her accounts and found that missing $200. And more. All total Mom had $416 in her purse spread between several envelopes in different pockets. It will be used to pay for the reverend and church that will be presiding over Mom's memorial service.


I forgot to mention that I got my IRS refund on 04/12. When H & R Block did my Federal submittal electronically on 03/29, Nancy told me it would take about 3 weeks for it to be automatically deposited in to my account. It took exactly 2 weeks. Yay! I think I shall do it this way every year. (I had no taxes due to the State of Hawai'i since I did not work in the state in 2016 and all my income was from retirement or deferred compensation.)

I found 4 more photos of Mom from before she left the Big Island. One was taken just before her 1st birthday, one looked like it was taken when she first went to Hilo to help Hilo Aunty take care of the kids, another looked like it was taken early in her high school years; here's the final one which appears to be her graduation photo.

Happy Birthday to Jim, RuthAlice, David, & Mackenzie! Happy 17th Anniversary to Linda! Happy Belated Birthday to Lois, Brenda, & Maia!

Mom Is Declining

After Nurse Shawn left last night, Mom seemed to be doing okay, though she still would not listen to Kai. About midnight Kai had to ask me for help again as Mom wanted to leave the bed to use the commode. He even tried my strategies to keep her in bed to no avail. She kept insisting she needed to pee but was not able to. So I dipped her fingers into a cup of warm water and it worked! Unfortunately at 2 am it did not work. I called Hospice Hawai'i again and this time Dionne was on duty; he lives in Ewa Beach so it took a while for him to get here. By 4 am he had inserted a Foley catheter and drained about 200 ml of urine from Mom's bladder. It looked kind of dark to me, like the color of black tea.


The catheter helped relieve the strain on Mom's bladder but she still kept trying to remove it. Kai told her it was for "one of the machines" so she had to leave it in place. She became more feeble so trying to get out of bed or remove the catheter soon was not a problem.

In the early morning I called Curtis to let him know what was going on. He and Lori came over after they saw their tax preparer. Aunty Judy also came to visit; she had come down with a cold on Friday so was going to wait until Monday to visit, but we decided under the circumstances it was okay to visit with Mom today.

Later in the day Jane came to visit along with her granddaughter DeeAnn. When we were cleaning up after Jane had left on Wednesday, we found the 2 props for her "You Are My Sunshine" skit that she did for Mom. It was the sign saying 'Special' and a pair of lips.


Mom is experiencing terminal agitation. For her it has taken the form of pulling at her t-shirt, the briefs, the oxygen line, and the catheter line. We have decided to give her the haloperidol and lorazepam on a regular schedule to keep the agitation to a minimum.

Both Shiro and Xander have been spending a lot of time on the bed with Mom. Occasionally both take a break and lie in other places. One of Xander's places is under the cabinet in Mom's bedroom. I think it makes him feel safe when there is a lot of activity going on in the room.


In the middle of all this I got a pleasant surprise: a gift box from "work"! It surprised Curtis, who just retired, that my former co-workers were sending me a gift box since I left over a year ago. I explained to him that I send the Kona coffee that the Environmental Services Section uses for the annual March Against Hunger competition that the Snohomish County Public Works Department participates in to raise money for the local food bank. So far this year Java Junction has raised over $500. People line up for the Kona coffee!

I'm pretty sure the Samoas and most of the Trader Joe's items are from Stephanie! I wonder if the pens are from Doug?

Happy Birthday to Vivian, Glenn, and Jose!

Props to Kai!

Last night Kai stayed up and watched Mom overnight, in place of one of the Ho'okele caregivers. He took the 9 pm to 7 am shift; I took a shower and went to sleep. (He agreed to do this while he is here since he stays up late anyway.) He said almost immediately after I went to bed Mom started getting up about every 20 to 25 minutes to use the bathroom; each time she peed in the commode so he was changing bags and relining the commode all night. Each time she would complain that she was unable to pee and her bladder was too full; each time there was at least a 1/2 cup of urine in the commode. Kai was exhausted by 6:45 am so he woke me up. He did an amazing job keeping up with Grandma!

The output from last night! The commode is lined with 2 bags and a couple sheets of newspaper to absorb urine.

Mom continued to use the commode every half hour or so after I took over. But each time she was weaker. The last time she was so weak she couldn't get back in to bed by herself and I had to lift her back in to bed. She kept saying how tired she was but refused to stop talking and close her eyes to get some rest. After about 2 hours of this I finally called Joey, the hospice nurse, to find out which of the comfort kit medications I could give her to get her to sleep. Joey said to give her a 0.5 mg haloperidol. I did, but 2 hours later Mom was still awake and saying she was tired. I called Joey again and gave Mom a 0.5 mg lorazepam; 20 minutes later she was sleeping peacefully.

I asked Joey about Mom being so weak she is unable to get to the bedside commode. Joey said to have Mom pee in her briefs. She had a couple suggestions on how to frame the conversation. It was a very frustrating conversation but I finally did get Mom to pee in the briefs, even though she kept complaining that she didn't pee. In fact, she also had a bowel movement in her briefs that she was unaware of.

While we were able to solve one problem by getting Mom to pee in the briefs, that created another problem, we only had 6 pairs of briefs. If she goes 3 times an hour tonight as she did last night, we would need 30 for Kai to make it through the night! I called Hospice Hawai'i and they sent hospice nurse Jackie over with more briefs; they said we could have her show us how to change the briefs.

It was enlightening. The first thing we learned from Jackie is that there is a "T" at both ends of the brief, the end with the sticky tabs is on the side that goes in the back. The gussets should be carefully straightened out. To turn Mom, we have to position her leg on the side we are going to roll her towards straight and move the other leg so her knee is bent; Mom's arms should be crossed over her chest. When she is on her side we slide the brief under her, positioning it so it will evenly cover her crotch. When she rolls on to her back, the front part is pulled up between her legs. She is then rolled to the other side and the back of the brief straightened out on that side. When she is on her back again the tabs can be attached, the lower tabs 1st, then the upper tabs; they should be at an angle to make them more form fitting. A helpful action we discovered is to raise the bed up to a comfortable height while we are working with her, rather than bending over to do all the positioning. Mahalo nui loa to Jackie!

Back of brief is at top of photo.

Tonight we will give Mom the 2nd dose of haloperidol around midnight so that she continues to rest well. We are hoping that the sleep will help recharge her so that she has more energy and strength and can stand and position herself on the commode without help. If she can do that we will return to the Depends which are much easier for her to pull up and down herself.

Aunty Florence and Tomiko left this morning about 10 am. Tomiko has a show to moderate this weekend in Arizona. Here's the photo Tomiko took last night of all of us in Mom's room. Kai is usually the tallest one in the group but he needed to scrunch down a little so that we could get more of Mom into the photo.

L to R, front row: Xander, Mom, Dad, & Tomiko; middle row: Aunty Florence, Lori, me, Brent; back row: Curtis, Kai. (Photo by Tomiko)

 Happy Birthday to Marian, Mike, & Sandy!

What's in the Garden?

I checked out the automatic timer I put on the back yard faucet. The timer was working well, but the faucet itself has a leak right at the handle. I looked it up on Google, it will take a bit of work to stop the leak; I might call someone to fix it, but I think I will test out all the other faucets before I do that. I want to set up an automatic system for the back yard since that is where the garden is. I want to make sure the lettuce and papayas, as well as the orange tree, get regular watering. The lettuce is looking really good.

Lettuce in the left hand planter are from seed, planted at different times; the right hand ones are from starts.

Brent & Shaun came by to visit with Mom about lunch time. I was really surprised that Mom remembered that Shaun is the one who washes her hair, especially since we have only been able to do it twice. We were also going to have him trim her hair but she was in the hospital the week that was supposed to have happened. Shaun must have made a good impression on Mom! Brent & Shaun will be making dinner for us next Sunday when Kai & David are here.

Aunty Florence and Tomiko arrived around 2 pm. They brought some food and were very hungry so we had an early dinner, about 4 pm, which was 7 pm for them. Mom actually ate more than she has been, which is good. As we were in the middle of dinner, Curtis, Lori, & Lori's parents dropped in. As always, Lori had presents for the visitors! (Plus one for Kai who will be arriving on Tuesday.)

Mom really enjoyed having all the visitors here. As I was wheeling her back to her room she asked me why I was doing that. I told her because she was in the way of cleaning everything up (which she was). I also told her I could tell that she was tired and needed a rest. As I was helping her in to the bed she agreed that she was tired but also said she would be back out later. Then she fell asleep. She was still sleeping an hour later when Aunty Florence & Tomiko went out to run a couple of errands. She asked me later why she was so tired; she keeps forgetting that she has leukemia.

There was just so much going on and so many people today, I forgot to take photos.

Happy Birthday to Melvin, Suzi, George, & Zach! Happy Certified Nurses Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Let's Laugh Day, and Poultry Day!

Garden Volunteer

While I was cleaning up after breakfast I found a little plant growing out of the scrubber that Mom has in a holder on the edge of the sink. It appears to be a volunteer tomato seedling. I carefully removed it from the scrubber and put it in a cup with a wet paper towel as a growing substrate.

The wayward seedling.

Temporary new home.

Curtis & Lori came by with Brent for lunch today. Their neighbor Anita met them here. It was great to have people come over to help eat the leftovers, though they did bring a little food; a couple Polish hotdogs, a slice of pizza, & a wrap. I forgot to take a photo so you'll have to take my word for it that they did not bring a lot of food. We wheeled Mom out to join everyone for lunch; she ate a little. After lunch Anita prayed with Mom.

After lunch I organized the bathroom closet where Mom keeps the towels. Since Mom seems to have resigned herself to getting a bed bath, I will have Yumiko come by 3 times a week to give her one. If the closet is organized she can help herself to towels whenever she is here. (As I write this I realize that Mom has towels in another closet. I will have to move those to the bathroom closet now that there is more room there.)

Before

After

I also did laundry today, most of it was Mom's stuff. I used 3 of the Skubb boxes from Suzanne to help organize the shelf that I am keeping her clothes on for the caregivers. I think keeping her clothes on the open shelf in the room she is in will be easier than having them go in to the bedroom (where Dad is sleeping) to get things out of her dresser.

The TV was on this shelf before we moved it to the cart so we could reposition it so Mom could see it easily.

Tonight Mom had a couple of difficulties. At 7 pm, when she tried to go to the bathroom, her legs were very weak. She ended up using the bedside commode because she was unable to get her legs to move fast enough to get there in time. She stayed up and watched TV. Then at 8:30 pm, as she was on the way to the bathroom (walking better this time) she asked where she was, she thought she was somewhere else. When I told her she was at home she was surprised and said no wonder I was there and it looked like home! On the bright side, she did not see ants covering the wall last night. (We are not sure whether she was dreaming or hallucinating when she saw the ants. And, no, there were no real ants in her room. I am pretty vigilant about cleaning up after she eats.)

Those cats! They're so funny! Here's Xander looking like he got run over by the wheelchair.


And here's Shiro not caring that he gets covered up as I straighten the bed out for Mom and get it ready for her to easily get back in to it.


FYI - There are still no ants on the old pork rind. Perhaps I did too good a job disrupting their trails to the counter. Normally that would be a good thing, but now that I want to see what they think of stale pork rinds it makes it inconvenient to have to go and find a bunch of ants some where.

Happy Birthday to Patricia, Chris, Steve, & Kate! Happy Awkward Moments Day, Biodiesel Day, Lacy Oatmeal Cookie Day, Sloppy Joe Day, Supreme Sacrifice Day, Quilting Day, & Corn Dog Day!

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Paula & Russell came for a visit today. They brought lunch; dim sum from Chun Wah Kam Noodle Factory. The box included 3 green manapua (aka hum bao); we think those were in honor of St. Patrick. Apparently they also make pastel colored manapua for Easter.

Top L to R: bao with custard filling, steamed manapua; bottom L to R: shiu mai, green manapua, baked manapua.

Russell & Paula arrived a few minutes after Yumiko, the CNA from Hospice Hawai'i, got here. When Yumiko first called to see if it was okay to come by this morning to do the bed bath, I told Mom she was coming. Mom said she was not going to take a bed bath, but I persisted and reminded her that she & Dad used to tell us to try things before we said we did not like it. When I took Yumiko to Mom's room, she grudgingly agreed to try it since Paula & Russell were coming to visit; she wanted to be clean and change her clothes.

Mom was all smiles when she was done with her bath and ready to see Russell & Paula. I brought her out in the wheelchair since she tires easily and can't make it to the kitchen without being winded.  

Top to bottom: Russell, Paula, & Mom.

One very nice development today was that the swelling in Mom's left hand went away completely. The heat was also gone. It looks entirely back to normal so may be she has dodged another bullet.

Last night I started an experiment to see if the ants would come to eat the stale pork rind. This is what it looked like this morning. Yes, it looks like the photo from last night, because it is ... there were no ants around it this morning.

Experiment #1.

Curtis came over this morning to stay with Mom while I took Dad to his doctor's appointment. (However, Dad declined to go.) While here, we discussed the use of old pork rinds as an ant repellent. So we devised an experiment to test its efficacy. It was set up at about 8:30 am using papaya skin as the bait.

Experiment #2, L to R: control (papaya alone), papaya with pork rind, & pork rind alone.

One ant was wandering all over the counter top. I don't know if it was the same one, but about 2 hours after I started the experiment I saw an ant about an inch away from the baits. As luck would have it, Mom decided to clean up my "experiment" when she came to the counter for lunch, so I had to start all over again.

Experiment #2, the subject is about 1 inch from the bait.

So after lunch, about 2 pm, I started experiment #3, using baked mochi as bait along with the stale pork rind.

Experiment #3, L to R: control (baked mochi alone), baked mochi with pork rind, pork rind alone.

After about an hour an ant came up to the baked mochi next to the pork rind. By 10 pm, however, all of the baits were still ant free. So either, ants don't like baked mochi and pork rinds, or stale pork rinds have a repellent effect that is effective for more than 3 inches! I will check the experiment tomorrow morning to see if time has an effect on the outcome.

Experiment #3, the subject approaches the bait.

This morning I saw Xander sleeping in the living room; I had to go over and poke him because he was in such an unnatural position I thought that his asthma had done him in. This afternoon, Chibi was also looking like a dead cat as she snoozed on the warm concrete.


Xander and Shiro don't seem to mind that the bed moves in funny ways under them while they sleep. In fact, they seem to like the valleys that it creates.

L to R: Shiro, Xander, & Mom.

Happy Birthday to Walt, Dennis, Jed, Uncle Pat, Kerrie, Joani, Sally, & Ashton!

Bright Eyed & Bushy Tailed!

I woke up sort of early and late today. Early and late at the same time? Yes. There was a mix-up last night and we ended up with no overnight caregiver. So I got up several times last night to help Mom get to the bathroom including at 6 am (early), which resulted in me being very tired in the morning so I finally got out of bed about 9 am (late). Mom looked refreshed when she woke up about 10.


Yesterday Joey wanted us to keep the cats out of Mom's room so they wouldn't scratch her because of her low platelet count. But Mom would have none of it, they're her buddies. So we compromised, the cats can be in the room but Mom needs to cover her bare legs so that they don't accidentally scratch her when they step on her. The cats didn't care.

What? Me worry?

I had been thinking about what to do if the hospice supervisor said it was okay for Mom to take a shower. I decided if their decision was to allow her to take a shower, I would agree only if they would agree to give her transfusions if she was injured in the shower. Joey called to let me  know that her supervisor said, "No showers". Yay! No arguing over keeping her safe!

In the meanwhile I have been encouraging Mom to try the bed bath before she says she doesn't like it. I reminded her that she used to tell us that we should try things before we said we did not like them; fortunately with dementia the old memories stick around longer than the short term memories, she sheepishly agreed that's what she and Dad used to tell us. I told Joey this and also that Mom thinks the bed bath will not get her clean, she said she will specifically ask Yumiko to use a lot of water on Mom so its feels like a shower to her.

Got the invoice for the 1st 2 weeks of overnight caregivers. Based on the projection of how many hours we would need, the invoice is for a little over $3800. Which means about $7600 per month for Mom's overnight care. It's a good thing she saved so much on her medical costs that she can afford overnight care!

Tomorrow Paula & Russell are stopping by for a visit at lunch; I also take Dad to his doctor's appointment tomorrow. Aunty Florence and Tomiko will be here for a visit from Sunday through Thursday. And Kai comes in on Tuesday; he's staying for a week and will be helping out with overnight Mom-watching duty.

We're doing an experiment overnight. We found some stale pork rinds (best by December 2016) and put a piece out to see if the ants will go for it or avoid it. We have now watched about half a dozen ants walk right by it. Ants seem to have a random search pattern so it may not mean much that they haven't found it yet.

One hour in to overnight test.

Happy Birthday to Kippy! Happy Farm Rescuer Day, Artichoke Hearts Day, Everything You Do Is Right Day, Freedom of Information Day, and Panda Day!

Lunch with Jane

Cousin Jane brought lunch over for Mom today. Mom had moved in with Jane's family when she was 14 to help Hilo Aunty take care of the 5 older kids when the baby came along; all total Hilo Aunty & Hilo Uncle had 11 children. Jane was one of the kids that Mom took care of. We had to wheel Mom out to the kitchen because she was too tired from exerting herself earlier in the morning. Mom loves Jane's food and ate a little bit of everything (except the green salad).

L to R: Curtis, Jane, & Mom. (Jane kept moving to stay out of the photo.)

Here's the lunch spread that Jane brought today.

Clockwise from upper left: green salad, banana muffins with chantilly icing, mochi (filled with peanut butter, coffee azuki, sweet potato, & haupia), rolls, Chinese-style steamed mahimahi, chicken, steak, steamed rice, & macaroni salad. Middle section L to R: nishime, butter, & salad dressing.

The reason Mom was tired at lunch was because Yumiko, the certified nursing assistant from Hospice Hawai'i, came to give her a bed bath before lunch. After Mom got out of the shower on March 3rd she told me she was very frightened that she was going to fall; she hasn't taken a shower since then. Mom has been complaining for a while now that she needs a bath, so I arranged for her to get bed baths through Hospice Hawai'i. Over the last 4 days I have given her several opportunities to show me that she was strong enough to take a shower; each time she made up excuses why she couldn't do the test at that time. We have also been talking about the bed baths and it seemed like she was open for it. Today she wanted to prove to Yumiko she could walk on her own so that she could get a shower rather than a bed bath. In order to prove to Yumiko she was strong enough to take a shower, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom and back without help. She did it but was very winded and unable to walk out to the kitchen on her own, we had to wheel her out. Yumiko said she was unable to give Mom a shower without approval of Joey, the RN assigned to Mom.

Joey called me later and we talked about how unsafe it is for Mom to take a shower. Curtis & I are in agreement with Joey about the safety issue. Joey wanted to talk to Mom, but she was fast asleep in the afternoon. Joey called back after dinner and Mom was awake. Mom used her circular logic to talk herself in to how she was able to take a shower on her own and didn't need any help. She said because we didn't let her do things she was becoming an invalid and that she was perfectly capable of knowing if she was able to take a shower by herself. Mom was steadfast in her refusal to take a bed bath. She even refused to give it a try.

It was extremely frustrating to me because the hospice policy is to see if they can make it happen if the client wants to do it. Joey will be talking with her supervisor to see how they can make it happen. I don't agree because there are other things that need to be considered such as her low oxygen saturation level (it was 72% on Monday while she was on 2 liters of oxygen per minute); she cannot have the oxygen hose on while she is in the shower. If she cuts herself her low platelet count will make it difficult to stop the bleeding. If she falls and has internal bleeding they won't give her a transfusion of platelets to stop it. It did not make sense to me to put her in such a potentially dangerous situation just because she can't be reasoned with because of the dementia.

All yesterday and last night Mom did not have the energy to walk to the bathroom to use the toilet; she had to use the bedside commode. We keep the supplies on the shelves on the TV cart because it is convenient. There are exam gloves, antiseptic wipes, disposable underwear, and more. We have lined the commode with double plastic bags and put several sheets of newspaper in the bottom of the bag to absorb liquids. We change the bags every time she uses the commode.

Top shelf L to R: exam gloves, wipes, newspapaer, & plastic bags. Bottom shelf L to R: disposable waterproof pads for bed, disinfecting wipes, & disposable underwear.

On top of all the clean up I have to do after Mom, I also had to deal with this today. Twice. Not sure what's making him do this. If it continues I will take him to the vet.

Xander looking sheepish after losing his breakfast.

On the lighter side, Happy Birthday, Chibi! She is 10 years old today! (She needs to got to the vet, too, for her geriatric check-up. Cats become 'seniors' at 10.)


Happy Birthday also to Alvin & Lisa! Happy Everything You Think Is Wrong Day, Pears Helene Day, Shoe the World Day, and Kick Butts Day!

Lots of Visitors Today

Aunty Judy called this morning to see if Mom would like some miso soup; I said sure. She arrived about 10:30 am. Mom loved the miso soup! And the company.

Xander supervising the administration of the miso soup by Aunty Judy.

Xander also supervised the explanation about Mom's pneumonia.

As Aunty Judy was leaving, our neighbor Donna, and her mother, pulled up. Donna's mother, Mrs. Vea, has been wanting to visit with Mom for a while. She had Donna drop her off after lunch; I told Donna I would take her back home. They had a great visit! Mrs. Vea brought Mom some sushi; Mom was so happy she ate almost 3 pieces!

Mrs. Vea searching her goodie bag for more treats. She also gave Mom some Dove dark chocolate candy, yam cookies, and Milano cookies.

The sushi Mrs. Vea brought for Mom.

While Mrs. Vea was here, Suzanne dropped by. They had been at the Diamond Head Memorial Park paying their respects to Manu's mother. Suz took this photo, she said it was inspired by my "36 Views of Leahi" series that I am creating. I will have to drop by the cemetery to get this view of Leahi.

Leahi from Diamond Head Memorial Park (photo by Suzanne).

Suzanne & Mrs. Vea talked a little about the old neighborhood. Suz could not stay long, Manu was in the car, he had been diagnosed with bronchitis a couple days earlier and he did not want to expose Mom to it. Mrs. Vea left at about the same time, Curtis gave her a ride home.

Mrs. Vea & Suzanne.

Mom saying good bye to Suzanne.

By the way, Suzanne also brought food when she came; tako poke & ahi poke from the poke bar at Foodland Ala Moana and boiled peanuts from Fort Ruger Market.

L to R: tako poke, boiled peanuts, & ahi poke.

Mom was happy to see all the visitors but was tired since she did not get her usual daytime naps. I have noticed that she is weaker today than she was yesterday. I was able to have her regularly use the bedside commode; she did not have the energy to walk to the bathroom which is right across the hall from her bedroom. The positive thing about having all the visitors is that Mom ate more than she usually does; today she had about 1 cup of miso soup, about 1/4 cup of rice, and 3 pieces of sushi.

With all the visitors we have been having, I won't have to cook for a few days. Everyone brings food when they come over. Not sure if this is only something that happens in Hawai'i. Or perhaps we just have the best selection of food that people bring! Of the food seen in the photo below, only the lettuce in the green bin on the lower right, the rice in the white container in the middle of the upper shelf, and the yogurt in the orange-lidded container to the right of the rice were not given to us by visitors; everything else arrived with a visitor in the last 3 days.


By the way, the lettuce in the green bin is from our garden. Our container garden, that is. Mom does not want anything planted in the ground, so I have been planting everything in containers. Here's what's out there right now.

The sweet potato vine on the left is really doing well! The planting of the lettuce in the 2 long planters to the right have been staggered to give a more continuous yield. The tomato in the back right is a volunteer.

After I took in the laundry, I turned on the oscillating sprinkler to water the vegetables, especially the lettuce and the papayas. Almost immediately a red-vented bulbul flew up to the clothesline and began hopping in to the spray to take a bath! Later a flock of mejiros came to do the same thing, but only 1 was brave enough to get in to the water while I was watching. (Usually I try to water the plants in the early morning so that they are well hydrated before the sun starts beating down on them.)

Red-vented bulbul taking a bath in the water from the sprinkler.

Happy Birthday to Alvin & Aleta! Happy Pi Day!