Lunch with Jane

Cousin Jane brought lunch over for Mom today. Mom had moved in with Jane's family when she was 14 to help Hilo Aunty take care of the 5 older kids when the baby came along; all total Hilo Aunty & Hilo Uncle had 11 children. Jane was one of the kids that Mom took care of. We had to wheel Mom out to the kitchen because she was too tired from exerting herself earlier in the morning. Mom loves Jane's food and ate a little bit of everything (except the green salad).

L to R: Curtis, Jane, & Mom. (Jane kept moving to stay out of the photo.)

Here's the lunch spread that Jane brought today.

Clockwise from upper left: green salad, banana muffins with chantilly icing, mochi (filled with peanut butter, coffee azuki, sweet potato, & haupia), rolls, Chinese-style steamed mahimahi, chicken, steak, steamed rice, & macaroni salad. Middle section L to R: nishime, butter, & salad dressing.

The reason Mom was tired at lunch was because Yumiko, the certified nursing assistant from Hospice Hawai'i, came to give her a bed bath before lunch. After Mom got out of the shower on March 3rd she told me she was very frightened that she was going to fall; she hasn't taken a shower since then. Mom has been complaining for a while now that she needs a bath, so I arranged for her to get bed baths through Hospice Hawai'i. Over the last 4 days I have given her several opportunities to show me that she was strong enough to take a shower; each time she made up excuses why she couldn't do the test at that time. We have also been talking about the bed baths and it seemed like she was open for it. Today she wanted to prove to Yumiko she could walk on her own so that she could get a shower rather than a bed bath. In order to prove to Yumiko she was strong enough to take a shower, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom and back without help. She did it but was very winded and unable to walk out to the kitchen on her own, we had to wheel her out. Yumiko said she was unable to give Mom a shower without approval of Joey, the RN assigned to Mom.

Joey called me later and we talked about how unsafe it is for Mom to take a shower. Curtis & I are in agreement with Joey about the safety issue. Joey wanted to talk to Mom, but she was fast asleep in the afternoon. Joey called back after dinner and Mom was awake. Mom used her circular logic to talk herself in to how she was able to take a shower on her own and didn't need any help. She said because we didn't let her do things she was becoming an invalid and that she was perfectly capable of knowing if she was able to take a shower by herself. Mom was steadfast in her refusal to take a bed bath. She even refused to give it a try.

It was extremely frustrating to me because the hospice policy is to see if they can make it happen if the client wants to do it. Joey will be talking with her supervisor to see how they can make it happen. I don't agree because there are other things that need to be considered such as her low oxygen saturation level (it was 72% on Monday while she was on 2 liters of oxygen per minute); she cannot have the oxygen hose on while she is in the shower. If she cuts herself her low platelet count will make it difficult to stop the bleeding. If she falls and has internal bleeding they won't give her a transfusion of platelets to stop it. It did not make sense to me to put her in such a potentially dangerous situation just because she can't be reasoned with because of the dementia.

All yesterday and last night Mom did not have the energy to walk to the bathroom to use the toilet; she had to use the bedside commode. We keep the supplies on the shelves on the TV cart because it is convenient. There are exam gloves, antiseptic wipes, disposable underwear, and more. We have lined the commode with double plastic bags and put several sheets of newspaper in the bottom of the bag to absorb liquids. We change the bags every time she uses the commode.

Top shelf L to R: exam gloves, wipes, newspapaer, & plastic bags. Bottom shelf L to R: disposable waterproof pads for bed, disinfecting wipes, & disposable underwear.

On top of all the clean up I have to do after Mom, I also had to deal with this today. Twice. Not sure what's making him do this. If it continues I will take him to the vet.

Xander looking sheepish after losing his breakfast.

On the lighter side, Happy Birthday, Chibi! She is 10 years old today! (She needs to got to the vet, too, for her geriatric check-up. Cats become 'seniors' at 10.)


Happy Birthday also to Alvin & Lisa! Happy Everything You Think Is Wrong Day, Pears Helene Day, Shoe the World Day, and Kick Butts Day!