July 5 thru July 8, 2015

Current:
Aunty Daisy is feeling better, so much so that she is off the prescription painkillers and now only needs over-the-counter meds to help her handle the pain of her broken ribs. Cousin Mark is there with her for a few days, looking for a rehab place they can move her to. The story is still a bit hazy as to exactly what happened since Aunty Daisy can't remember, but they think she fell down the stairs in her house. (Though since she has osteoporosis she could have just tripped and fallen with similar results.) Fortunately, she was unable to find her purse so she went to the neighbor's house to ask for help. They noticed she was in a lot of pain and took her to the emergency room. Since she had internal bleeding along with the 2 broken ribs it was a good thing she misplaced her purse! I have not called to talk to her, she already occasionally confuses me with Aunty Florence's daughters so being on high-powered painkillers would make her even more confused. Talking to her face-to-face is easier for her to remember who I am.

Went to KSER to answer phones again. Here's John taking one of the calls we received.

John taking a pledge at KSER

Happy Birthday to Kip, who is 4 years old today!

Previous:
07/05/15 Day 4 More Chores to Come
The day started out with cleaning the birdbath that we gave Dad for his 90th birthday last November. When I arrived there was water only in the reservoir and the solar-powered fountain was not pumping; I thought the motor was burned out. It turned out it was just plugged with algae; a good cleaning and it was back to normal … almost. I think the solar panel itself may be experiencing some problems, it spouts intermittently. To the right of the birdbath is a monarch butterfly on the gout stalk flowers. And to the right of the butterfly is the desert rose in full bloom. Mom has 3 of those planted, they are doing fine in this hot, dry summer. In the background is the next project.

Bird bath, gout stalk (Jatropha podagrica), & desert rose (Adenium obesum)

The black weed cloth that was installed with the help of Sarah, David, and Kai in November is mostly now in tatters after only 7 months under the Hawaiian sun; I will have to redo all 4 beds that I covered with it. It was guaranteed for 15 years; not buying that brand again, I’ll stick with the more expensive commercial grade white material I bought and installed over a year ago that is still completely intact. Mom has stopped weeding since she has difficulty getting back up again; she has asked me to weed for her so she can plant things, but then she forgets to plant things. After the second visit that I spent weeding I decided to cover the beds until I relocate and can devote more attention to them.

Weed barrier ... not

The ohai ali’i growing next to the driveway is finally starting to die; this is the first trip where I have not had to cut it back in order to safely back out of the garage. Once it and the mickey mouse plant are removed I will be replacing them with English lavender. The lavender will not get any taller than the concrete block portion of the wall, is purple (Mom’s favorite color), will be drought resistant once established, and is relatively pest-free thus low maintenance. The plan here is to eventually replace all the plants along the fence that need constant maintenance with low maintenance, drought-resistant plants.

Plant removal in progress

Finally, here’s a photo of Xander at the end of the day, patiently waiting to be let in for his dinner. One task earlier in the day was getting new cat food; Mom and Dad got a different brand and he was just picking at it. With his extra pounds it wasn’t really hurting him, but Chibi wasn’t eating any of it.

Xander patiently waiting for dinner

07/06/15 Day 5 Sad News
Today one of Mom’s mahjong buddies called to say that Miss Tanaka (one of Mom’s walking buddies who was also my kindergarten teacher) passed away about 3 weeks ago.  She was 92 and was walking with Mom up until about a year ago (she was in better shape than Mom).  She was pretty active until then, usually walking 5 days a week and line dancing once a week.  She also volunteered at the elementary school once a week.  I’m not sure what precipitated her decline since Mom can’t remember what anyone has told her about it.

I had lunch with some of my college dive buddies today. We went to Happy Days Chinese Seafood Restaurant; we went for their dim sum. It’s in Kaimuki, about a 5 minute drive from Mom & Dad’s house.

I also called to reorder one of Mom’s medications. I had placed an order through Kaiser's automated pharmacy line back in May and it arrived as scheduled. However, about a month ago Mom tells me she is running out of pills. When I try to place another order the automated voice tells me it’s too early to reorder. I then talk to a real person and find out she should have received 3 bottles with 30 pills each. So I ask Mom how many bottles she has and she says she only has one bottle and only 10 pills. The Kaiser pharmacists are great through all this and tell me how to get around the automated line when I get here so that Mom can get her pills and I can get back to using the automated line to refill her prescriptions. Then the week before I arrive Mom tells me she found another bottle, so I relax and think I will look for the 3rd one when I arrive. The day before I arrive she again says she has 2 bottles, but this time she also tells me one is empty and the other has only 5 pills! If nothing else, I have learned I need to be more precise when I ask questions of someone with dementia so that I get answers that are meaningful.

The main chore for today was helping Mom get information about the balances in her savings and checking accounts. We have to do this in person at the bank because she does not believe the statements that she is receiving; Wesley, her banker, tells her she has even more money in her account than her checkbook tells her. (Which is no surprise to me since Mom has never ever been able to balance her checkbook; for once dementia has not made the outcome of a task any worse than before.) She trusts Wesley so the balance is now okay with her. We also try, unsuccessfully, to find the debit card that was sent to her recently ... I think the debit card is with the 2 bottles of pills! Wesley cancels the "old" one and reorders another for us, it should arrive before I leave.

I read a great article in the local paper today about Steven Levinson, a retired Hawai’i Supreme Court justice who wrote the legal ruling that opened the door to same-sex marriage nationwide. In 1993 he wrote the first ruling that said “it was presumptively unconstitutional to prohibit access to legal marriage by same-sex couples.” Yay, Hawai’i! Culturally, Hawai’i has been more accepting of differences in sexual orientation and expression; as in many indigenous cultures, being a "two-spirit” has special significance.

Finally, here’s a photo of Chibi snoozing under a chair in the family room this evening. She is starting to become more comfortable being here around new people. Since she was a stray she is jumpier around new people than any of the other cats. However, since she was a stray food gets her attention more than any of the other cats. As with Xander, once the cat gets here I do not do any of the feeding so that they associate Mom and Dad with food (she got some ice cream tonight). It seems to work well along with the other things we do to make the whole process of moving here less traumatic.

Chibi relaxing in the family room

07/08/15 Days 6 & 7 Paperwork and More Paperwork!
Was dealing with straightening out paperwork on Tuesday, which does not make for pretty pictures… While I was out doing the errands I was informed by Mom that Dad got a call about insurance and had to run down to the gas station to take care of it - which made just as much sense to me as I am sure it is making to you as you read this. The complete story is that in Hawai’i vehicle inspections are done at the gas stations and apparently when Dad took the 1977 Bronco in for the inspection in June he did not have the card showing that insurance was current. (Having current insurance is part of the vehicle inspection.) He was supposed to come back with it but never did, so they called to remind him. Once again he did not have the insurance card. After an hour or so of searching Mom could not find it and there was also no card in the RAV4, so I figured Mom misplaced it (along with the 2 bottles of pills). So I called the insurance company to get duplicates sent. Turns out the reason there was no insurance card was because Mom forgot to pay the premium in April! Fortunately, they reinstated the insurance, retroactive to April, and will be sending new cards which should arrive before I leave. I also called the gas station and they will take care of things for Dad once he shows up with the card. FYI - The insurance was in force once the credit card is processed so all is well in Paradise again … at least until the next misplaced thing is discovered.

Had lunch with Mom’s cousin Jane, whom we called “Aunty Jane” because she is nearer to my mother’s age group than mine. (Her younger siblings are nearer to my age - there were 11 kids in their family.) Jane is an excellent cook and had a great spread for us. She wants us to come over more regularly when I move here and has promised to teach me how to make things like home-made rolls, macadamia nut lavosh, peanut butter mochi, and mango chiffon pie. That’s Jane holding her long-haired chihuahua Kaiau and Mom.

Kaiau, Jane & Mom

Because of the property and account turned over to me for the house in Kohala, I spent some time with Mom and Dad's estate attorney this afternoon to make sure everything will be properly protected. That doesn’t photograph well either so instead you are getting a picture of the teddy bear that Xander likes to attack. For some reason he only picks on that one, it used to be with the others up on the arm of the sofa but Mom moved it down so Xander will concentrate on that one and not attack any of the others.

Sacrificial bear

Here is Mom feeding the cats this evening. The way to a kitty’s heart is through his/her stomach!

Mom with Xander and Chibi

And finally, Wheel of Fortune is in Hawai’i! Or was, at some time. I am impressed with Pat Sajak, he was able to pronounce the name of the Native Hawaiian contestant quite well. This “screen shot” has a sort of Little Mermaid feel to it ...

Wheel of Fortune meets Sea Witch