Some Things We Learned About Death & Dying

We have learned a lot about death & dying, but also about living. When Mom was initially given the diagnosis of acute myelocytic leukemia she chose not to do chemotherapy because she did not want to be sick from the treatment. She chose instead to only do transfusions of red blood cells & platelets as needed. The transfusions helped with her energy level so she could do the things she loved. Like going to Las Vegas. Twice!

Mom always said she wanted to die at home; she did not want to die in a hospital. So when Mom went in to hospice care, we set things up for her at home. One of the things that Hospice Hawai'i provided us with was a comfort kit; medications used specifically for palliative care. We were given instructions on how to use them, but also had a registered nurse assigned to Mom who would help with issues like this. We ended up using only 2 of the 7 medications that were provided.

Having Mom in hospice care at home made it easier for her to have visitors; they already knew where we lived and it was more comfortable for them at our house. (And usually the food is better!) I think she had more visitors at home than she would have had at the hospital.

A big thing for Mom was having the cats with her; she even asked me to sneak Xander in once when she saw a therapy dog making the rounds at the hospital. Although the hospice nurse preferred them out of her room, Mom refused to keep them out. Xander and Shiro were her nearly constant companions; Shiro would even stick around through part of Mom's bed bath! They gave her a lot of comfort.

This morning Curtis & I went to Hosoi Garden Mortuary to schedule Mom's service. Since both Mom & Dad have pre-purchased a plan it made it very easy for us. Almost everything is taken care of; our biggest decisions are which caterer to use and what kind of flowers to have. Hosoi will coordinate with Punchbowl for Mom's interment there. They will take care of closing her Social Security number. They will get the death certificates made for us. And they will coordinate both the lunch deliver as well as flower delivery.


Jane came by later in the day with food for us and any visitors that might drop in. She made things that would keep better getting moved in and out of the refrigerator.

L to R, from upper left corner: sweet rolls, fruit salad with li hing mui powder, chicken, noodles, broccoli salad, steak; center: rice.

Stat Medical came shortly after I got back and removed the hospital bed, over bed table, oxygen concentrator, bedside commode, suction device, big oxygen tank, 2 small oxygen tanks, & the walker. I vacuumed the floor again. And then steam mopped it. I was able to remove a bunch of dirt the accumulated at the edge of the old carpet (that we chucked).

Before steam mopping.

After steam mopping.

Happy Birthday to Christina & Andreas!