Can't Win

I need to get to the mail before Mom. She got to it before me today, then got herself worked up over the statements from one of her credit unions. In order to place the account in to the Trust, she needed an account under her own name with a minimum of $100; the remainder was placed into the Trust. She could not understand why she now had 2 accounts and one only had $100. She also could not remember sitting there and signing all the papers to set up both accounts. At the time of the signing she seemed to understand what she was doing. Even now she occasionally understands things, which makes it really tricky since if I am again explaining something she did not understand moments earlier but she then suddenly "gets it", she becomes angry and tells me I need to stop treating her like she "is stupid". I have not yet discovered how to identify exactly when the shift in understanding happens so I don't begin explaining again. But if she's not getting it and I don't explain again she gets upset, too. Can't win.

The other reason I need to get to the mail before Mom is that she puts things "away" but forgets where she put it. Like the August bank statement that came in early September. I have not been able to find it so I have not been able to reconcile her checkbook. I just have a really rough idea how much is in it; fortunately, the retirement payments for both her and Dad are automatically deposited in it. And even though a lot of their household bills are automatically withdrawn from this account, their deposits are larger. Significantly. As a matter of fact, Curt and I call it the Magic Checkbook, like those fairy tales where there is a magic entity that creates various types of wealth with little input from the protagonist.

I also need to become more sneaky. I need to go through the piles of paper next to her chair. Tonight she went through a bunch of papers, going over each one incessantly for 10 minutes or more, when less than a minute is needed to determine what to do with that piece of paper. Instead, she works herself up over it, wondering what she needs to do with it but not making many decisions. Frequently, she does not notice that the date is old and it is no longer relevant. Sometimes she tells Dad he needs to take care of it, then gets angry with him when he says he does not want to deal with it. (He has already said he wants me to open all the mail and do whatever needs to be done. He realizes that they can no longer understand much of what is happening or able to make decisions about a lot of things. Mom disagrees with his assessment.)

Tomorrow evening I will be going to Kohala which will mean sporadic internet access. Posts will be less regular.

Happy Birthday to Fay!