I spent a lot of time talking to Mom today. At 7:30 am HST I called to remind her to take her alendronate, which has to be taken by itself and at least 30 minutes before any other medication or food. I also asked her to give Momo his pill. While she was doing that she noticed the envelope to be mailed to the IRS with their return and check; she said it was too early to put in the outgoing mail. (She likes to put it out just before the mail carrier comes, around noon. This is why it did not go out on Monday since we left for Punchbowl before she felt it was safe to put out and returned after the mail had come. It also did not go out on Tuesday because it was too early when we left for the airport and too late for me to remind her when my phone was out of airplane mode. Wednesday's focus was spent trying to find Momo's pills, so I totally forgot about the envelope.) She said she was putting it on the table with the breakfast things so that she would remember to put it out after breakfast. Knowing the condition of the table with lots of miscellaneous piles of things, I asked her to put it back and I would call her to remind her. She kept arguing that it would help her remember to have it on the breakfast table. However, from past experience I knew that she ends up piling any paper on the table at one end so it would get mixed in with other papers and forgotten. I told her several times again that I would call to remind her to put it out, she finally relented and put it back where the outgoing mail is kept.
About an hour later she called to ask whether she had paid the income tax. I said, Yes, but she needed to mail the envelope that was in the outgoing mail. I told her I would call to remind her to put it out. She said she needed to check if the mail had already come for today and if it had she would need to put it out in tomorrow's mail. She took the cordless phone out to the mailbox and reported that there was no new mail (at 8:30 am). I told her I would call to remind her to put it out.
About a half hour later she called to find out whether she needed to dial "1" before dialing my number on her cell phone. I said, No. (The earlier call was from her cell phone.) She then said she spent so much time getting a wrong number because she was dialing "1" that she forgot what she was calling about. I was pretty sure it was about the income tax but I did not mention it.
Ten minutes later she called to ask about the income tax and whether she had paid it. I said, Yes, but she needed to mail the envelope and that I would call to remind her to put it out in the mail. She was satisfied with that answer. Repetition seems to help to calm her down about forgetting things.
When I called about 10:45 am to remind her to mail the envelope, she said it was gone. She said she must have taken it out to the mailbox already. I asked her to check since I knew it was in the house at 9 am and she did not like to put it out before 11 am. She said it was not in the mailbox and there was no new mail; I am concerned that instead of putting it out in the mail she has put it somewhere else in the house and it will get lost. I asked her to take her morning pills. I planned to call again later in the afternoon, when I was sure mail should have been delivered, and have her check if there is new mail.
Mom called about 1:45 pm to ask about a note she found about looking for Momo's pills, it was notes she made yesterday. She also wrote on the same piece of paper saying she needed to send me more money. After I assured her several times that she had taken care of both of them, I was able to convince her to cross out each note, tear up the paper, and throw it out. I have found that if she just crosses out notes, it still bothers her that it has not been done; the paper has to be torn and thrown out in order for it to register as no longer being important. I asked her to check the mail, there was none; so perhaps the tax return and check did get picked up this morning. She had no recollection of already having gone to the mailbox twice or having mailed the envelope.
When I called about 6:30 pm to remind her to take her evening pills she said she was washing dishes and would be done at 7 so call her back then. She was upset because Dad went outside to sit on the porch. When I called at 7 Dad answered, Mom was wiping the stove down, which concerned me because she should not be cooking without anyone supervising. I got her to take her evening pills then asked her what they had for dinner. It turned out to be leftovers, which were most likely heated in the microwave so I think cleaning the stove is just an old habit.
I wonder if this is what it is like for NASA scientists operating space probes? Mission Control gives a command and an hour later they check to see if the vehicle is responding. I think they have the easier task since the options are to respond to the command or not. The vehicle will not decide on its own to do something else completely different! (And if it did it would only be the limited options that were programmed in to the vehicle.)
Sometimes I feel like I am trying to control a robot arm when I can't see where it is. I have to rely on what Mom tells me, which is sometimes very confusing because she is now having trouble with words; and there is also the use of the ubiquitous pidgin phrase "da kine" thrown in to the mix. (If I was there with her to see the context and and body language it would make more sense.) I also have to become more specific with my words and phrases, detailed enough so she knows what to do but not so detailed as to confuse her. I find myself revising my phrases to get the point across since she keeps coming back to earlier questions. The silver lining is all this should make me better able to communicate with others!
Happy Birthday to Lois, Brenda, and Maia!
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